Photo Addict: The Reason

People often make comments on the number of pictures I make and yes, I take a lot. Probably too much sometimes but I will never apologise for that. Ever.

December 16th 2011 I lost my grandfather. I saw him almost every single day (at precisely 6pm he would walk through the door) from the age of 5; I lived with him for over a year. 

He was one of my inspirations in life and he taught me to always aspire to greatness and never give up on your dreams. His was having one of his horses win the Grand National. Every year he would breed horses in the hope they would be good enough. After all the generations of Rhubarb names: Rhubarb Renaissance, Rhubarb Royale, Rhubarb Regal Red, Rhubarb Essence, Red Rhubarb, Ruby Rhubarb, Rhubarb Rebellion ....and the list goes one. Watching the Grand National this weekend got me thinking about him so much. The owner that won was so happy, belated even and he had won 3 times now. What my grandfather would have given for that opportunity. 

For the year after he died, my mother got a framed picture for everyone in the family (grandma, sister, cousins, uncle and aunt) of themselves with our beloved 'Pop-Pop'. I remember being so, so excited for June 16th - the 6 month anniversary and my birthday - to get a picture to hang up in my room. As I went through all the gifts I soon realised there was none left and I hadn't got a picture. I remember my mum asking what was wrong and so I asked her where my picture was. She told me that she could not find a picture of the 2 of us together. I was devastated. 

As soon as I reached the age of around 6, I dreaded having pictures taken. I was very self-conscious and hated how I looked. There are very few pictures of that period of my life, but until that moment I didn't realise how few memories I had. 

My dad was always the photographer in the family and after my parents got divorced, I took upon myself to take the odd photo here and there. Everyone in the family had pictures to remember him because I had taken them, yet I had none. Or at least none that my mother nor father had been able to find. 

That's the day I realised I had to take photos every day. Capture every single special moment in time that happens; to remember it forever. 

I don't ever want to feel that alone again.

"Every second that you live is a second more in the past. Every picture that is taken captures those split seconds and stores them timelessly. Pictures are a chart of memories and moments that can be revisited as they were when the image is viewed. If a picture wasn’t taken, some precious memories would be lost forever." -