My Love Language

It's been a while since I last looked at my love language and whilst I don't always think they're super accurate, I do think it's good to bare in mind, especially when in a relationship, so that you can meet the needs of the other person. 

We all give and receive love in 5 different ways, a concept created by Dr. Gary Chapman through his long-time work as a marriage counsellor. For the majority, quality time seems to be the most important love language across the board for both women and men. However, everyone has a different strength of percentage of each and my order is currently as below: 

  • Words of affirmation 30%
  • Acts of service 27%
  • Quality time 20%
  • Physical touch 13%
  • Receiving gifts 10%

I really do relate with Words of Affirmation being the most important aspect for me and I think this is a big change from a few years ago. I've never been the most confident person in the world and over the last year especially, that confidence has dropped incredibly low sadly. For me, words say a lot and I love having unsolicited compliments especially. I think words just give me the reassurance that I understand where people are and it ensures we are on the same page. Clear communication and honesty in a relationship with me is vital. Likewise, insults can leave me shattered and are not easily forgotten. 

You thrive on hearing kind and encouraging words that build you up.

Coming a close second is Acts of Service, which to me is very similar. I think that doing jobs and easing the burden of responsibility without being asked, is a huge thing and I would much rather have that workload shared, than gifts any day. 

When others serve you out of love (and not obligation), you feel genuinely valued and loved.

Quality Time is my third love language and I think it is interesting. I hate being around people when they spend their entire time on their phones. I find it so frustrating. I also think, especially in romantic relationships, often the longer the relationship, the more important it is not to forget to have that time one-on-one without distractions. 

You deepen your connection with others through sharing time.

My bottom two were by far, Physical Touch and Receiving Gifts. The first is a little bit of a surprise because I do love reassurances through contact and intimacy, but I know words need a lot more to me than anything else. The latter was something I knew in advance. I've never been a huge lover of receiving gifts. I always feel so much pressure to pretend to like gifts and not only that, I'm incredibly picky and specific, with a hate of clutter. For me, the best gifts are those of activities, where I can things with the other person. 

What's your love language? Are you surprised at mine?