Pride Over Pity by Kailyn Lowry (Review)

This review includes some spoilers or as I like to think of them, sneak peeks! It features some emotional aspects of live, death, abortions and rape.

I was shocked when I heard she had an abortion less than 6 months before she got pregnant with Isaac to I different man! I'd always thought Kailyn had a view completely against abortions. It's hard to understand how much can change in that 6 month period and nothing really did, except for the father. She fell in love with the idea of her adopted family and that was allowed for her to keep the baby. Even though Kailyn claims she was forced into the first abortion, I can't help but think that yes she may have been coerced by her mother but everyone has free will and at the end of the day, she was the one that swallowed the pills to kill the foetus.

I am quite disappointed when I look at the authors...yes multiple. I'm not impressed that Kailyn didn't write the whole book by herself but with a co-writer. I understand she is a busy mum of two but it would have been nice to see how she would write; I suspect, she wrote barely anything and just told the stories while Adrienne penned.

It's amazing how many thing go unnoticed in the shows, both 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom 2. When I originally decided to read the books by the mother's from Teen Mom, in my head I told myself it may be boring but it will be interesting to hear everything first hand. Oh how wrong I was. So many massive actions went uncovered in the show.

'Jo finally admitted that he was seeing someone behind my back. He had even gone so far as to put his uniform on when he went out and bring his regular clothes in a bag so I would think that he was working when he was really meeting up with her.'

The reason Kailyn and Jo broke up in the end was because he had cheated. I know it was a long time and I haven't watched any repeats but I remember thinking that they broke up simply because the relationship was under stress and tensions were running high with teens parents looking after a newborn. Thinking back to the beginning, I thought Jo and Kailyn had been together a while before getting pregnant but it reality it was a matter of a few short months!

'The purest form of unconditional love is the love you have for your child'

The love that Kailyn has for her children is apparent throughout both the shows and in this book. She seems to find the perfect words to show her love to the world.

Engaged! Kailyn and Jo got engaged not long after Isaac was born and amidst all the drama that was shown on the show, Kailyn seems to think that this was a peaceful time. A perfect time.

One of the biggest shocks reading the book was that Isaac had a serious medical emergency. After receiving treatment for his soft spot which he was born with, all seemed to return to normal. At four months, Isaac had a seizure in Kailyn's lap. I can't imagine how scary that must be for a mother and with no warning at all. Another one in the hospital resulted in inconclusive tests and still to this day, no answer as to why. Kailyn says she worries every day that one day he'll have another.

'I smirked as the normal gestational weeks were posted as if I had gone through a perfectly standard labour. I never went full term. I guess somewhere in the editing they got it mixed up.'

Even Kailyn notices mistakes in the show as when watching 16 and Pregnant for the first time, it says Isaac was born at full term but in actual fact he was born nearly 2 months premature! I think that it's important to point out that no labour is 'standard'; every single one is unique and completely different from the next. There is no telling when I baby will come, how long labour will be...those that suddenly stop breathing can be no different from those born perfectly healthy.

'they required a two-day stay in a homeless shelter in order to qualify. I was very wary about staying in a shelter even temporarily.'

This is where my heart seriously breaks for her. When she got her house, that was showed on Teen Mom, from a charity for homeless mothers, there was a criteria. One aspect of that was a 2 night shelter stay. It was during filming for Teen Mom and she hid it from everyone. She hid it from friends and family, both her's and Jo's, as well as the TV crew. She made sure Isaac was safe as she didn't want him there and the whole experience just sounds so traumatic for her. Locking herself in a small dark room and getting no sleep? I can't think of anything worse than having no control on a situation but that's how she felt. She hid it from everyone and never told anyone until this book was a thought...only then did she tell friends and family.

'I wouldn't give them permission to use the rape kit.'

After allowing the person whom she was intimate with at the time, into her house, when he was drunk, he abused her mentally and physically. He raped her. I was shocked and almost in tears reading this part. He aggressively burst into the house saying he wanted to talk, then took her. Her screams and sobs must have been heard by the close neighbours but no one came to her rescue.

I often thought that her last boyfriend, Jordan who was on the show, seemed - for lack of a better word - thick, but he was so kind to her that night. As the drunken rapist left the house, Kailyn felt blood and couldn't move. She called her ex boyfriend whom she had cheated on and immediately he came to her rescue. She never told anyone she was raped, but she felt it was clear that that was what had happened. He never questioned or quizzed her, he was just there for her: support.

'Religion creates more questions than answers.'

Religion. It's a massive topic of debate and at times people can get very defensive over their opinion. I often find it hard to voice why I am an Atheist but I think Kailyn puts it almost perfectly, devoting almost a whole chapter to the debate. It's starts with the reasoning behind the almost wedding in Vegas, the non-church wedding and leads on to explain the reasoning due to science. I too believe the world was created by science and the theory of evolution but as some religious people are now saying perhaps 'God created the Big Bang'. The debate can go on forever and trust me most of my favourite quotes are from this chapter. She adds humour with the fact that her spirit living on after her body degrades is nothing short of creepy to her.

'Tattoos are an extension of my motto: I'm always a work in process.'

Tattoos are another taboo subject to many, including my mother. If I was brave enough and not a complete and utter woss I would love something meaningful in a secret place like somewhere on my back...but alas I am. There are a number of paragraphs explaining the meaning behind all the tattoos so I will leave it to the book to share but I love how they all mean something. I love that every single image is a representation of her life. My favourite being the one that links her to her mother.

'The definition of true beauty is always being 100% confident in yourself'

...and now that's what Kailyn is. It can't be easy having millions of people watch your life, telling you you're fat and ugly ect. but Kailyn has moved past all the hateful comments and tried to live her life the way she wants to live. I personally don't think tattoo sleeves are very feminine but that is my opinion and I will never disrespect anyone for choosing to decorate their body the way that they choose. Some people may not like the necklace I wore today and that's okay. In a way tattoos are a permanent decoration that you place on your body. The key message is if you're happy with what you are doing and how you look, that's all that matters.

I do sometimes think Kailyn sees herself as above the rest of world. I understand that she has been through a lot and yes she didn't have a great childhood. After an alcoholic mother, who literally shows no sign of maternal love and a long-lost father who padlocks his fridge...what can  you expect? But underneath it all, I think she needs to settle down into her family life and presently that's what she seems to be doing. I'm happy for her.

One of the favourite things about the book is the pictures that are dotted about. At most of the big memories Kailyn writes about, there is a photo to represent that and I love all of them! I think my favourite is own of Isaac playing in a classroom of one of Kailyn's old teachers. You'll have to read the book to find out the full story but I do think it's a little strange to still talk to your high school teacher, almost like he has taken advantage of a young and vulnerable girl.

Overall, although it made me hate Kail in some parts, it made me fall in love with her more than I have ever done before. I became totally involved with her life through the words on the paper. I began to feel so sorry for her and proud of how far she has come. It's difficult to understand when watching TV why someone would hit their husband*, and although there is never an excuse, somehow it's understandable that after all these huge life events that Kailyn had no control over, she would want to take some power back when she can.

*As far as I know it was twice and not fist-fight. She is now receiving and guidance treatment in the form of both single and couples therapy. Her husband has forgiven her.

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