Bonfire Night, Baby Day and Feeling Emotional!

It was a bit of an emotional week between welcoming a new baby and realising the reality of adulthood. I also headed back to Wakefield to celebrate Bonfire Night too. 

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I went back to my childhood home to see my mum. I haven't been back for over a month because more recently, family had been coming to see me in Nottingham instead. We had a chilled couple days before taking the dogs for a walk one morning. They were both fascinated with the birds. Lots of snuggles on the couch and I finally started catching up on the last two years of Grey's Anatomy and Station 19. 

For Bonfire Night, we ended up staying in and actually celebrated with a Bonfire at the farm the next day. Grandma and the family played dominoes, before we headed out. There was food trucks, a bar, a bonfire and lots of fireworks. It ended up being a really lovely evening. 

I remained on call for my cousin and her going into labour. Whilst I waited, I did some uni work based on birth partners which was only fitting, and was shocked at some of the comments and perspectives of the modern man. 

My cousin ended up being induced. So I got up bright and early expecting to be called in and not long after I ate, I was called so I headed straight in. It was such an honour to be apart of the birthing room and it really was lovely, albeit a little stressful and I have to admit, I much prefer being a midwife than a birth partner. 

When I got back, I had a much needed relaxing bath and sadly got trapped in the bathroom. It honestly caused me to have a slight mini panic attack. Of course, all thoughts ran through my head. I live alone, no one has a spare key, no ladder to get down, no phone and trapped. I ended up getting out after about 30 minutes using my razor to scrape some of the door frame off and sheer force to open it. I'll just be leaving the door open for now and then eventually sand it down and repaint because it currently looks a mess. Once in bed, I just couldn't stop sobbing about the reality of life. Being alone and potentially never having that birth partner present to be by my side for the labour is really heart-breaking and obviously, never how I particularly wanted life to go.