Masters Graduation, Cousin’s Day and Loneliness Hurts!

I had my Masters Graduation down past Cambridge, had some lovely days and some sad days. Sometimes reality hits harder than others. 

Click here to watch the vlog or see below. 

I had a very annoying number of day shifts in one week so I decided to get a taxi for a couple of them and a bus for another. Luckily, my mum was coming down after the last one so she picked me up from work after my NIPE shift. Unfortunately, she wanted to go out for a meal instead of a quick homecooked meal or takeaway. I really wasn't feeling it, but did fancy Chinese. Sadly, she fancied the pub so we went there instead. I did like the look of it from the outside but inside it's very dated and everything is very dirty and sticky, so a little gross and that just put me off. It also wasn't very good food. By the end of it, I was shattered and just wanted to sleep but then she insisted on having a coffee and cigarette which just really frustrated me, as I was sat in the car freezing. 

The next day was my graduation which I've spoken about here. Originally my mum was going to be driving but last minute, they decided to sell their car and switch to an electric only vehicle, which then wouldn't get us to Chelmsford without stopping on the way and she didn't want to risk it, so I ended up driving instead. 

The journey was okay, but just tiring as I was already shattered and it was just a new to me area which I always find draining. When we arrived at the recommend car park, it was full so we had to go elsewhere so we were running a little bit late, but luckily we ran into my dad at the same time so we walked in together. 

We had a lovely meal at Cote, then headed to the tents to collect graduation gowns and to take the official pictures, before heading to the cathedral for pictures in the grounds outside and then the ceremony inside. 

I'm glad we didn't have the final time slot of the day, because it was pitch black by the time we came out! Dad then left, whilst mum and I headed to the hotel to settle down and check in. 

Then we headed to a lovely little Thai Asian place which was delicious and I've been dreaming of it ever since! They didn't have any dessert options, so instead mum got a coffee and I got a brownie at the hotel. Honestly, the hotel was beautiful but the brownie was horrible. I couldn't even eat it, it was so burnt and dry. Not good but mum refused to let me get a refund. 

I slept terribly that night because mum was snoring and waking to go to the toilet constantly. I finally fell asleep, only to be woken up a couple hours later to her doing exercise and yoga and stomping everywhere which I just felt was so selfish. We were going to stay around Chelmsford a little longer but after a quick walk round, we decided to head back, calling at my cousins and playing with my nephew for an hour too, but mum wanted to drive back to Wakefield before it went dark, so she didn't stay for very long. 

The next weekend, I actually booked off because we decided to have a little cousins day. I headed back a little early to hang out with family and I also had a fun afternoon with a friend as she had some annual leave to us. We met for lunch at Pizza Hut, before heading to an Escape Room which was so much fun, then back to the farm for a film and hot tub night. 

She ended up leaving after the hot tub and then I was left alone again. I always plan on hanging out with my mum and sister, but whenever I am back, they always decide to make plans which is really quite upsetting. 

Saturday was a day in Leeds. We started at Roxy for some mini golf but it was like pitch black and a very small course so not the best. We then headed to a Thai restaurant which wasn't the best, but everyone else seemed to enjoy, before headed to another location for Beer Pong. I was originally going to leave after the mini golf because Beer Pong isn't for me and I refused to pay £15 for an hour of play, as I didn't drink the alcohol, but one of my cousins cancelled last minute and then my other cousin's husband didn't want to come and be the only man so it ended up being just being 4 of them, so I said I would go watch, and I did have a couple of go's but not properly. It was a bit too crowded and too close to the other tables to properly enjoy it sadly. 

I was happy to stay out a little longer, but they then decided they wanted to do more of a bar crawl which really wasn't my thing, so I got a train back to the farm and mum picked me up. I was going to try and have a lie in at the farm, before heading back for my night shift the next day, but with mum's husband in the lounge and her spending time with him, I decided to just head back to Nottingham. Of course, I cried the whole way home and felt awful by the time I arrived home. I sat in the car for over an hour just feeling so heartbroken and down about how my life has turned out. I just wish more than anything things were different.