My Dating Journey and First Relationship

There was a time in my life that I thought I would be single forever. Growing up I prioritised my education and never even considered getting into relationship as a teenager. I know and a lot of other people knew that there were boys interested in high school, but I guess I was somewhat oblivious: J, R, D... Whilst I was in college, there were two boys I somewhat liked; one was in a serious relationship (D) and the other I went on my first date with (G). I was a little overwhelmed by the latter as he went in for a kiss and seconds after leaving, text to ask me on another date. I guess I just wasn't ready for the commitment. 

In university, I only had one guy I really spoke to in a romantic way (P). We were suppose to be going on a date and then rumours started being passed around about my online journal and blogging hobby and he wasn't keen on that so it ended before it really started. After that, it wasn't really something I ever looked for. My dream of becoming a doctor and finishing my medicine degree ended and I through myself into my midwifery career in full force. 

L just happened to stumble into my path. I wasn't looking for a partner or trying to find a boyfriend. I don't know if I've ever shared how we met and started dating so I guess I will just share it here. We met through archery at the University of Nottingham, but we never had actually spoken until it came to the Christmas social. We went ice skating and I'm someone who likes to be in control and is also somewhat terrified of ice skating. I like to skate around the edge, holding onto the side until I feel more confident. L being L, he was being kind and considerate, asking if I wanted help, trying to pull me away and take my hand. He wasn't being flirty at all, he was just being him. Me being me, basically ended up shouting at him and telling him if he didn't leave me alone, I would get off the ice completely. I always thought it was a pretty funny story. Anyway, we later went to Weatherspoon's and happened to sit next to each other. We spoke within the group and I can't remember if I went to the toilet or to the bar, but the next thing I knew he was gone. 

I ended up messaging him a short while later to apologise for my actions and asking where he went and that was it. He then reached out and messaged me on Christmas Eve, on Christmas Day and on New Year's Day to send me well wishes. He's always said it meant nothing to him but for me, this was him reaching out and thinking about me on a day that should resolve around family and a digital detox. That then but the thought in the back of my mind that he did actually like me and thought about me as more than a stranger he just met. 

When we went back to archery in the new year, I left one of the archery sessions early and he ended up messaging me again to ask if I wanted to go the pub. I didn't see it until much later as I'd gone swimming with a housemate, but from there we talked constantly every single day, whether he was at work or I was at university. We couldn't get enough of each other and I felt like I was getting to know him on a deeper level. 

Taking it to the next stage was the difficult part. I had a really good friend at archery I used to drive to the club and she would constantly tell me, he was staring at my during the sessions. She brought it up before I even mentioned anything about him. I think for a period I was in denial and felt like I was maybe reading too much into it, because I never saw him looking at me and he pretty much refused to speak to me at archery in person. I even went over to him directly one day and asked questions to get him to talk, and he made it so difficult, completely closing down the conversation. 

It was then my turn to do the chasing and I asked him on multiple dates. I asked him out for a meal and he said no, I asked him to come over to my house and he was like "but what would we do" and then I gave him one more chance to go out for a meal and he just never got back to me. He later said that he was going to come over, but I'd already made other plans to go out with a friend, and my phone had died. 

At that point I gave up and told myself I'd read into things all wrong and he actually wasn't into me at all. I told everyone at my sister's 21st that I had fallen for a guy who wasn't interested in me. I finally had gotten over myself, when he messaged me on Friday night to ask me to come on a road trip with him to buy a new archery bow. I didn't even give it a second thought and I said yes straight away. I was so excited to finally have some time together one on one, so I got picked up bright and early Saturday morning and we headed to the shop. 

There were moments of quiet and silent, but I honestly felt so comfortable. I never felt any awkward pauses, it was just natural. A few weeks later, we made it official and I guess the rest is history. I may share more about the relationship later but for now this is the start of the dating journey. Next week I will finally share my online dating experience